Hello once again. It has been a few weeks since I have written anything. But, two days after I wrote my last posting, my brother died.
We did not get the kind of miracle we were hoping for, but, after I pondered the situation for awhile (a few days), I came to realize what a great God we have. He is full of Mercy and Love and always looking out for our best interests. We do not know the future. Only He knows. Yes, I wanted my brother to live so that he could witness to God and have new beginnings.
However, like I said, we don’t know the future. God, in His great Mercy knew that Dan was at his best right now and it would be the best time to take him. I totally accept that. My greatest desire and hope, afterall, was that his soul be saved. His soul was saved.
He wrote a letter before he died, which we found after he died, and he stated in that letter what his desire was in regard to his faith and God. What a heartwarming gift for his family (well some of us anyway). I mentioned earlier that our family is divided in regards to Catholicism, so the ones who are Catholic received a very beautiful gift from Dan. I will miss him and think of him all the time. But now he and Dad can intercede for us down here. Charlie Johnston did say that every family would be affected by these times, and so it is. I am of the belief that we haven’t even seen or felt all the graces that will come from this suffering (for Dan and our family).
My hope is that those of you who are going through your own trials right now will just totally give it to Jesus through the Blessed Mother. They will bring you through it. Remember, we cannot control anything and it is not for us to control. We are to submit our will to God’s will. Yes, if God decides to take someone we love and cherish, it will be very difficult, but, it will be for their greater good as well as our greater good.
We must love God above all others, not the other way around. I have shed my tears of sorrow and will now move on. All I really need to do now is get my mental and physical energy back. This takes a lot out of a person; more than I could ever have imagined.
I have found that those who really do trust in God and willingly want to submit to God’s will handle sufferings much better than those who rely on themselves or who cannot submit their will to God. The sting is really taken out of the suffering when given to Jesus through Mary.
I also want to point out something very important here. Throughout the past 7 months, we were given so much hope for Dan, simply because of what we were being given through prayer. I am in total agreement with Charlie (Johnston) on this matter – He said that it took him decades to truly discern and understand what God was saying to him. It may seem and sound like one thing to us but totally different to what God is telling us. I have been wrong before and I was wrong this time as well. We really don’t know the mind of God. I want to know the mind of God, but, like Charlie said, it takes years of trial and error. Everything the Lord had given to someone in regard to dan was meant for spiritual healing, even though it sounded like there would be a physical healing. We were all stumped – and we were all 100 percent wrong.
My one clue however was when the Priest came and prayed with us and Dan. The first thing Fr. Mike said he was hearing from the Lord, was that the Lord wanted us to abandon all to Him. At that moment, in my heart, I thought, oh boy, this doesn’t sound too promising. So, I guess I got that part right.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know the outcome and now I am going to get some rest and try to regroup.
God Bless all of you.